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Joke Of The Day
Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God immediately recognizes him and says to him "Bill Gates -- you're a great man. I shall give you a choice of either heaven or hell." Bill Gates tells God that he would like to see both before making a decision.
So God takes Bill Gates down to Hell, where there are beautiful, nubile bikini models, perfect weather, free drinks, and eternal happiness. "That doesn't seem so bad," says Gates. "Let's see Heaven now." God and Gates go to Heaven, which seems to be just a bunch of old, crusty angels flying around and sitting on a few clouds. "I've made my decision," says Gates. "I choose Hell."
Six months later, God goes down to Hell to check on him and finds him hanging above a pit of fire with wild harpies tearing out his intestines. "What happened to all the bikini models and the sun and the fun?" Gates screams. "Oh, that," says God. "That was just the demo."
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A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical. The doctor ran some tests and said to the man, "Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?"
And the man answered, "Oh me and God? We have a really tight bond, he's so good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off."
The Doctor was astonished. He called the man's wife and said, "I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?"
And she said, "That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!"
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