http://www.acoolnet.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=155&ape=gt3903http://www.acoolnet.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=155&ape=gt3903http://www.acoolnet.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=155&ape=gt3903http://www.acoolnet.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=155&ape=gt3903
Joke Of The Day
Did you hear about the blonde that tried to blow up her husband's car?
She burned her lips on the tailpipe!
Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Maybe someday we'll find Bigfoot.
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"
Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job?
A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!
A blonde co-ed is looking at a bulletin board and she sees a piece of paper that says, ''Ocean Cruise Only 5$.'' She pulls the piece of paper off the wall and goes to the address listed on the back of paper. She walks into the building and hands the secretary the piece of paper. The secretary nods and asks if she had the five dollars. The blonde pulls five dollars out of her pocket and hands it to the secretary. The secretary looks over to a burly guy reading a newspaper. She nods to the him. He stands up and knocks the blonde unconscious. When the blonde wakes up she''s tied to a log and is floating down river. She starts to think that this was a bad idea. When she sees one of her freinds (who is also blonde) tied to a log floating right next to her, she says, "So do you think they''re going to serve us some food on this trip?"
http://www.acoolnet.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=273&ape=gt3966http://www.acoolnet.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=273&ape=gt3966http://www.acoolnet.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=273&ape=gt3966http://www.acoolnet.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=273&ape=gt3966
Joke Of The Day
Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect. "Easy," she replied. "He only has one eye."
The chief was stunned. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!" He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.
"He only has one ear," was her answer.
"What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!" He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer."
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, "He's wearing contact lenses."
This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, "How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!"
"Well," she said, "he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?"
http://www.gotocat.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=273&ape=gt3875http://www.gotocat.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=273&ape=gt3875http://www.gotocat.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=273&ape=gt3875
Joke Of The Day
A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical. The doctor ran some tests and said to the man, "Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?"
And the man answered, "Oh me and God? We have a really tight bond, he's so good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off."
The Doctor was astonished. He called the man's wife and said, "I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?"
And she said, "That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!"